Broken Locks

TW: Themes of SA

If you are not at a point where you are healed enough to read this poem or the short accompanying story, please don’t. Protect your peace above all else. I am sending you all my love. 💜

Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when publishedThe boys call us a tease
If we don't please them,
Get on our knees for them
And leave our gates open.

When holding hands
And making plans
Is not enough to hold their attention,
They want us to hold our morals in suspension.

The fear of retaliation for refusal-
There's no recusal
For the guilt that burns inside me
Like the fire of a thousand suns.

They teach us girls to wait for the one,
But how can we,
When the lock on our gate
Gets burst open?

Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when published I wrote this poem years ago, but I've decided to share it here for the first time. It's incredibly hard being this vulnerable, but I think it's important for women to speak up about their trauma induced by the men we come across. Most, if not all of us, have been violated by a man in some form or fashion, and we can stand together in sisterhood to overcome the aftermath. ✊

This piece is about an ex-boyfriend who forced himself on me when I was, at the time, waiting for marriage. I am no longer religious, but it was once incredibly important to me; he was well aware and knew how to use that information to his advantage. I was 16, naive, and hoping to escape a difficult life at home. So, he chose to "propose" to get what he wanted from me, but when even that didn't get me to relent, he forced himself inside me while I repeatedly said "no" and begged him not to hurt me. He promised...as he continued thrusting.

That violation of any semblance of trust in him I had left still haunts me, as I'm sure it always will. If you have had a similar experience, you are not alone. Please feel free to message me if you need to talk. I'm always willing to lend an ear and/or shoulder to another survivor. Thanks for reading. 💜

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